We Want, and then We Want

You know, it’s funny that it is our natural, human inclination to focus with laserlike precision on the very things that we want but don’t have, believe we deserve but have yet to grasp, seek with fervor only to be left empty handed.

When we are not in a relationship it seems as though everywhere we turn we see couples, living, breathing advertisements and previews of that elusive situation in which we imagine ourselves to one day be. We crave it, long for it, and allow our desire for it to fill us to near expulsion of our sanity.

When we are in a relationship it seems as though we can never find enough “me time,” space, or whatever convenient descriptor that we think to use to indicate our need for separation, even in a temporary and healthy sense.

We want what we don’t have, and just like that we elevate what we don’t have to a greater level of importance and value than the treasure for which we once fought, sacrificed, and prayed so hard to possess. We shift our focus, and in so doing we relinquish our peace, choosing instead to embrace a false sense of lack. 

That’s right. False. Why false? Because the reality is that the sense of lack that we experience is one of perspective rather than a tangible, reality in which we are immersed. It’s a shift in perspective. Just. Like. That.

The good thing about a shift in perspective, though, is that we can shift it back. Now, because we are all individuals that process of shifting our perspective back will look different, and for some it may be easier done than it is for others. But for each and every one of us it always begins with a choice, an active decision to face the reality of the situation, decide what we truly want and value, and then move in that direction. The choice is ours. May we choose well. #lovebythedrop

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Today’s Gem of Insight #135

rain_drops_keep_falling_on_my_head_by_exposethebeauty-d5idapnToday’s insight journey led me to the idea that the gentle pattering of spring rain is one of the most beautiful sounds. I was just sitting here, working on a few tasks that required my attention, when all of a sudden i heard a light sound that was initially hard to place. At first, I thought that it might have been the gentle whirr of a ceiling fan, but I realized that that could not have been it. Then, I thought that someone or something might have been doing something outside that was producing the sound, but that was not the case either. Finally, I happened to check the weather report on the off chance that the sound that I was hearing was evidence of the onset of unexpected precipitation, and sure enough, that was it. So I just sat here and enjoyed the soothing nature of the sound of the rain and allowed it to relax me.

It’s interesting how we lead such busy lives that we often forget to take the time to stop and enjoy the seemingly insignificant things that we sometimes overlook, like the sound of peaceful rain releasing moisture into the atmosphere and cleansing the earth. And when we finally do take the time to stop and appreciate those things, we realize that they are not as seemingly insignificant as we once believed them to be. #lovebythedrop

365 Days of Insight; Today’s Gem of Insight #1

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So, I have been giving some serious thought to what my next project will be, and I have decided that I am going to share with you 365 Days of Insight. It will be similar to my 365 Days of Thanks project, in that I will write about something different every day. However, the focus of this project will be sharing with you little nuggets of insight that come to me each day, and my hope is that we will all be blessed in the process.

Today’s Gem of Insight #1

Today’s insight journey led me to the world of standards, bringing to mind the fact that standards only hold meaning when they are enforced. A few days ago this truth was put to the test in my life when someone whom I knew approached me about something that I did not deem to be in the realm of what was appropriate for our relationship, and to add insult to injury that person broached the subject in a manner that was crass and distasteful.

At the time, I was appalled and shocked that that particular person would approach me in that manner and regarding that subject, and it was clear in that very moment that I needed to make a decision – either I was going to give into that person’s request and go along with their inappropriate behavior (which can be a substantial temptation when you are a people-pleaser, as I once was), or I was going to stand my ground and enforce my standards. I chose the latter, something that would have been harder for me to do even six months ago.

Surprisingly it was much easier to enforce my standards in that situation than I would have previously thought possible, and I attribute this to the progress that I have been making in this area via pressing into my faith as I have dealt with multiple situations that have challenged me regarding my standards throughout the years, with an emphasis on the past few years. There have been moments when I have succeeded at enforcing my standards, as well as those in which I have dropped the ball, sometimes royally. Through it all, though, thanks to God, I have made substantial progress with defining and more effectively enforcing my standards. Has it been easy? Definitely not. But it was doable, and as long as I worked at it and made a conscious effort to make the right decisions, even when it was tempting to go the easier route, God always met me right where I was and provided me with what I needed in order to successfully navigate the situation.

I say all of this to say that I know what it is like to have standards that remain unenforced because of various reasons, just as I know what it is like to have standards that are inadequate. Both scenarios leave you stagnant and feeling as though life could not be more frustrating. Yet, I also know what it is like to have and enforce adequate standards, even when it is a challenge to do so. I know the peace that accompanies such a stance, as well as the growth and maturity that eventually result. And I know that now that I have experienced the latter, there is no going back. #lovebythedrop