Letters to self, Reflections

Letter to Self: Not Knowing is Okay

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Dear Self,

It’s okay that you do not know exactly what the next step is. It’s okay that you are not sure of what you want to do, where you want to go, and how you should get there. It’s okay that on any given day a myriad of options run through your mind, and just when you think that you have discovered the perfect one for you something finds a way to burst that bubble, and you suddenly find yourself back at that drawing board again.

It’s okay that so many people around you seem to have it all together, know exactly what they want to do, and appear to be in the process of bringing it all to fruition. It’s okay that they keep asking you, “What do you plan to do, where are you going, oh, and by the way, you have tried this or that, right?” It’s okay that when they ask you these things you try with all of your might to answer them in a way that demonstrates that you have not been just resting on your laurels for the past few years, wasting time, wasting energy, wasting you. It’s okay that you have absolutely no idea what to say.

It’s okay that the tears that you shed are never seen, felt, or noticed by others. It’s okay that on some days it takes all of the energy and strength that you possess to simply make it through one hour, let alone an entire day. It’s okay that it hurts to smile sometimes, that sometimes the most that you can do is refuse to frown. It’s okay that sometimes all that you see is a dull shade of gray with feathers of questions flittering about.

It’s okay. It’s simply okay. Do you know why that is? It’s okay because you do not have to know everything. It’s okay because we all find ourselves in that place at some time or another. It’s okay because if you were intended to know all of the answers, then there would never have been a reason for questions to exist.

It’s okay because it is in the living, persevering, and experiencing that you actually discover the answers that you seek. It’s okay because sometimes you just have to step out on faith and trust that the next step will be the one that takes you in the right direction. It’s okay, because, believe it or not, everything that you need in order to make it to where you need to go already exists within you; it is simply up to you to activate your faith and allow it to lead the way.

So, when you experience those moments of doubt, uncertainty, and bewilderment, take a deep breath, open your mouth and say, “It’s okay, because I have faith, and my faith is more than enough.”

With love,

Me

#lovebythedrop

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Letters to self, Reflections

Letter to Self: Forgiving and Letting Go

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Dear Self,
Forgive and let it go. There will be days when it seems as though life is trying its best to drain you of every ounce of joy, hope and peace that you have. People will take you for granted, mistreat you, and discard you as though your worth has abandoned you, leaving behind an empty shell formerly known as you. People will lie on you and try with all of their might to defeat you. They will look through your beauty until they see their own negativity reflected in the mirror that is their conscience. They will blame you for their shortcomings and carve your name into the stones of their misgivings.

They will attempt to drown you in their pain because they do not know any other way to try to bring you down to where they are emotionally. They will cast you to the side because it is easier for them to do that than to admit that they truly admire you and care for you. They will do this because this is familiar to them, this is what they know. And they will continue to do this because it is more comfortable for them than replacing their shortcomings with faith, hope, and a determination to do better and become better. They will continue with their negative ways despite being repulsed by their stifling negativity.

And now that you realize that this is what they are doing, what are you going to do? Hold on to your faith, and love them through their pain. Love is what they need, not pity, not confrontation, not reprimand, but love. Fight their negativity with love. Love them as though their life depends on it, because it does. Love despite the pain. Love despite the sting of rejection, the bite of frustration. Love through the tears. Love through the fears. Love through it all. And when you feel like giving up, love through your fatigue. Never. Stop. Loving.

With love,
Me

#lovebythedrop