We Want, and then We Want

You know, it’s funny that it is our natural, human inclination to focus with laserlike precision on the very things that we want but don’t have, believe we deserve but have yet to grasp, seek with fervor only to be left empty handed.

When we are not in a relationship it seems as though everywhere we turn we see couples, living, breathing advertisements and previews of that elusive situation in which we imagine ourselves to one day be. We crave it, long for it, and allow our desire for it to fill us to near expulsion of our sanity.

When we are in a relationship it seems as though we can never find enough “me time,” space, or whatever convenient descriptor that we think to use to indicate our need for separation, even in a temporary and healthy sense.

We want what we don’t have, and just like that we elevate what we don’t have to a greater level of importance and value than the treasure for which we once fought, sacrificed, and prayed so hard to possess. We shift our focus, and in so doing we relinquish our peace, choosing instead to embrace a false sense of lack. 

That’s right. False. Why false? Because the reality is that the sense of lack that we experience is one of perspective rather than a tangible, reality in which we are immersed. It’s a shift in perspective. Just. Like. That.

The good thing about a shift in perspective, though, is that we can shift it back. Now, because we are all individuals that process of shifting our perspective back will look different, and for some it may be easier done than it is for others. But for each and every one of us it always begins with a choice, an active decision to face the reality of the situation, decide what we truly want and value, and then move in that direction. The choice is ours. May we choose well. #lovebythedrop

Today’s Gem of Insight #86


Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that it is better to focus on solutions rather than problems. I am certain that we all have heard that statement mentioned at some point, and depending on which side of that statement we have found ourselves, hearing it either invoked positive emotions or negative ones in us.

And to some of us, that statement may only be that, a mere statement. But for those of us who personally know what it is like to focus on our problems, as well as what it is like to focus on solutions, we know that greater success comes from concentrating on solutions rather than problems, because when we concentrate on our problems we prevent ourselves from taking notice of the blessings that surface for the purpose of helping us to deal with our problems. Yet, when we focus on solutions instead of problems, we leave ourselves open to additional opportunities that surface because of the approach that we use when dealing with the problems that come our way.

So, the next time that a problem rears its head, let’s not allow that problem to cause us to shift our focus from solutions. After all, problems are temporary, but solutions can yield results that last a lifetime. #lovebythedrop

Today’s Gem of Insight #82


Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that life really is much easier when we learn from the mistakes that others have made rather than constantly insisting on making our own. While growing up I heard adults say things like “learn from my mistakes” and “pay attention so that you can live a life that is better than mine.” And though I realized that those adults had my best interest at heart, it was not until I became an adult and experienced some heavy duty circumstances of my own that I truly came to appreciate those statements. And after becoming an adult and finding myself well on my way to becoming a mature young lady, I reached the understanding that I could still learn a number of things in life without having to experience everything directly – I did not have to enter into a certain type of dating relationship to learn the lessons that can come out of that, just as I did not have to work for a certain type of boss in order to glean the lessons that can come from that.

Now, I will not say that I have always made the best use of this gem of a method, but the times that I have put it into practice have proved to be very beneficial. And, yes, there are some things that we simply will not grab ahold of until we experience them for ourselves. Unfortunately, that is just how we tend to operate at times as human beings – not because we cannot help it, but because we tend to be a little stubborn. But if we will allow ourselves to truly grasp and implement this concept of learning from the mistakes of others, we really can live better quality lives than we ever thought possible. #lovebythedrop