We Want, and then We Want

You know, it’s funny that it is our natural, human inclination to focus with laserlike precision on the very things that we want but don’t have, believe we deserve but have yet to grasp, seek with fervor only to be left empty handed.

When we are not in a relationship it seems as though everywhere we turn we see couples, living, breathing advertisements and previews of that elusive situation in which we imagine ourselves to one day be. We crave it, long for it, and allow our desire for it to fill us to near expulsion of our sanity.

When we are in a relationship it seems as though we can never find enough “me time,” space, or whatever convenient descriptor that we think to use to indicate our need for separation, even in a temporary and healthy sense.

We want what we don’t have, and just like that we elevate what we don’t have to a greater level of importance and value than the treasure for which we once fought, sacrificed, and prayed so hard to possess. We shift our focus, and in so doing we relinquish our peace, choosing instead to embrace a false sense of lack. 

That’s right. False. Why false? Because the reality is that the sense of lack that we experience is one of perspective rather than a tangible, reality in which we are immersed. It’s a shift in perspective. Just. Like. That.

The good thing about a shift in perspective, though, is that we can shift it back. Now, because we are all individuals that process of shifting our perspective back will look different, and for some it may be easier done than it is for others. But for each and every one of us it always begins with a choice, an active decision to face the reality of the situation, decide what we truly want and value, and then move in that direction. The choice is ours. May we choose well. #lovebythedrop

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Today’s Gem of Insight #42

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Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that appearances can be deceiving. We have all come across people who look good and seem to have it all together, entrees on menus with descriptions that make them sound as though they are exquisite delectables, and even cars that at first glance appear to have been manufactured just for us. We have encountered and consisted these treasures with anticipation and expectation only to finally spend time with them and discover that they are nothing like what we originally perceived.

And that’s not even the kicker though. The kicker is that had we taken the time to ask some pertinent questions, do a more extensive preliminary evaluation, and try to gain a better understanding of those treasures while setting our emotions to the side before investing in them, we would have spared ourselves the unnecessary disappointment and anguish that we ultimately experienced.

So, the moral of the story my dears is that not everything that looks good is good, and not everything or everyone should be taken at face value. Sometimes we need to probe deeper and even ask some tough questions in order to determine if something or someone is deserving of the investment of our time, emotions, and life. After all, each one of us is priceless, and not everything and everyone enters your life with your priceless nature in mind. #lovebythedrop

Today’s Gem of Gratitude #71

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Today I am thankful for the times when I am pleasantly mistaken about something or someone. As much as we as a society want to give the impression that we never pass judgment on people or things, the reality is that we do.

Now, the judgments that we make may vary based on the foundational aspects and the motivations associated with them, but they are still judgments all the same. Some judgments are based on negative principles, whereas others are based on positive ones, and that just happens to be the reality that we live in.

I do not plan to delve into the issue of whether this is right or wrong in this blog entry though. What I will discuss, however, is my appreciation of the moments when my judgments concerning someone or something were off for whatever reason and the result of which was that I was pleasantly surprised.

Take for example a very close friend of mine. He and I did not seem to agree on much when we initially met – I liked this music artist but he did not, I thought this concept was a good one but he did not, etc. And for a while there things continued that way. Now, I must point out that our disagreements were never disrespectful, mean, or even heated; we just agreed to disagree on whatever it was and then moved on. Well in the midst of all of that disagreeing we got to know each other and built a strong friendship based on a bond that has endured throughout all of these years.

I am not sure as to what my take on him was during those early moments of our friendship, and I am not certain as to what his take on me was. I do know that, among other things, we were both two opinionated people with strong convictions. Thankfully, we were also open minded people who believed in seeing past our particular viewpoints so that we could see the other person for who they were.

We could have easily allowed our differences to cloud our judgment regarding each other, which would have likely prevented us from taking the time to get to know each other. And had we allowed that to happen, we would have missed out on a friendship that is both indispensable and timeless.

So when you find yourself unsure of how to take someone or something, or you find that someone or something has rubbed you the wrong way so to speak, I encourage you to remember that sometimes making the choice to push past those initial negative impressions may result in your being pleasantly surprised too. #lovebythedrop