We Want, and then We Want

You know, it’s funny that it is our natural, human inclination to focus with laserlike precision on the very things that we want but don’t have, believe we deserve but have yet to grasp, seek with fervor only to be left empty handed.

When we are not in a relationship it seems as though everywhere we turn we see couples, living, breathing advertisements and previews of that elusive situation in which we imagine ourselves to one day be. We crave it, long for it, and allow our desire for it to fill us to near expulsion of our sanity.

When we are in a relationship it seems as though we can never find enough “me time,” space, or whatever convenient descriptor that we think to use to indicate our need for separation, even in a temporary and healthy sense.

We want what we don’t have, and just like that we elevate what we don’t have to a greater level of importance and value than the treasure for which we once fought, sacrificed, and prayed so hard to possess. We shift our focus, and in so doing we relinquish our peace, choosing instead to embrace a false sense of lack. 

That’s right. False. Why false? Because the reality is that the sense of lack that we experience is one of perspective rather than a tangible, reality in which we are immersed. It’s a shift in perspective. Just. Like. That.

The good thing about a shift in perspective, though, is that we can shift it back. Now, because we are all individuals that process of shifting our perspective back will look different, and for some it may be easier done than it is for others. But for each and every one of us it always begins with a choice, an active decision to face the reality of the situation, decide what we truly want and value, and then move in that direction. The choice is ours. May we choose well. #lovebythedrop

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Today’s Gem of Insight #152

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Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that living vicariously through others will only do so much for us.

In the past I often made it a point to remain reserved, frequently hesitating to venture out and do new things. My friends and family members would start new businesses, enter into new relationships, and develop new hobbies. Yet, despite my interest in venturing into new territory myself, I oftentimes allowed fear of this or that to prevent me from going forward with something that would carry me into unknown territory. Instead, I opted to live vicariously through others while I remained on the “safe” path.

However, living vicariously through others only provided me with a glimpse into others’ experiences, without ever satisfying my desire to experience those things for myself. And as the desire to experience those things continued to linger, I would promise myself that the next time that I had the opportunity to take part in those experiences I would do so. Yet, the next time only brought with it more of the same.

In addition to leaving me with an unfulfilled desire to experience those things, choosing to live vicariously through others left me with a mounting list of regrets – If only I had done this…If only I had said that…And so on, and so on.

Like many of us, however, I eventually reached a point when I decided that living vicariously through others was not enough for me, and I started making some changes in my life, one of the most notable of which was making it a point to say “yes” to good opportunities to which, in the past, I would have said “no” because of fear or some other negative element in life. And that one little change yielded amazing results in my life, broadening my horizons, and, in many ways, extending the reach of my sphere of influence in this world.

This particular change was wonderful, and I wish that I could tell you that I have steadily continued to move forward in this regard without ever experiencing any hangups, but I cannot. As many of us likely have experienced at some point, I encountered moments when I, because of this or that, began to slide back into the old habit of living vicariously through others, and I found myself having to jumpstart the very same movement of change in my life that I had previously experienced. Was I disappointed in myself? Certainly. But I refused to allow myself to wallow in that pool of disappointment. Instead, I picked myself up and began moving forward, again.

I say all of this to encourage all of us to live our lives, truly and fully, and to not allow ourselves to give up on doing something that is right for us just because we encounter challenges or slip-ups. The harm is not in falling, but rather in failing to get up after the fall. Be blessed. #lovebythedrop

Today’s Gem of Insight #137

calm-lake-tree-shadow-morning-landscapeToday’s insight journey led me to the idea that just as there is a calm before the storm, there is also a calm that follows the storm. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become so caught up in the challenges that we face at any given time. In fact, it can seem as though we have been slung into a tight abyss that is continuously closing in on us with a fervor as we stare up at the small opening miles and miles above our head wondering if the the chaos unfolding around us will ever abate. And we find ourselves so blinded by the unfortunate circumstances that we fail to realize that the storm will end and calmness will court us once again. We simply must endure. #lovebythedrop