We Want, and then We Want

You know, it’s funny that it is our natural, human inclination to focus with laserlike precision on the very things that we want but don’t have, believe we deserve but have yet to grasp, seek with fervor only to be left empty handed.

When we are not in a relationship it seems as though everywhere we turn we see couples, living, breathing advertisements and previews of that elusive situation in which we imagine ourselves to one day be. We crave it, long for it, and allow our desire for it to fill us to near expulsion of our sanity.

When we are in a relationship it seems as though we can never find enough “me time,” space, or whatever convenient descriptor that we think to use to indicate our need for separation, even in a temporary and healthy sense.

We want what we don’t have, and just like that we elevate what we don’t have to a greater level of importance and value than the treasure for which we once fought, sacrificed, and prayed so hard to possess. We shift our focus, and in so doing we relinquish our peace, choosing instead to embrace a false sense of lack. 

That’s right. False. Why false? Because the reality is that the sense of lack that we experience is one of perspective rather than a tangible, reality in which we are immersed. It’s a shift in perspective. Just. Like. That.

The good thing about a shift in perspective, though, is that we can shift it back. Now, because we are all individuals that process of shifting our perspective back will look different, and for some it may be easier done than it is for others. But for each and every one of us it always begins with a choice, an active decision to face the reality of the situation, decide what we truly want and value, and then move in that direction. The choice is ours. May we choose well. #lovebythedrop

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Today’s Gem of Insight #48

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Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that children are worthy of the truth too. I have noticed, here and there, that quite a few adults blatantly lie to children, especially when children ask them questions that concern topics that are not exactly kid-friendly.

Should we adults consider the age of the individual who is questioning us about something when formulating our responses? Yes. Absolutely. But as we are considering the age of the person who is questioning us, we need to keep in mind that needing to be careful about what we convey and how we convey it, because of the individual’s age, does not mean that we should lie to them. We may have to tap into our creative skills in order to provide an answer that is appropriate, but that need to be creative should never usher us into the realm of untruth. It is simply unfair, unnecessary, and no good can come from it.

So, when those little eyes stare up at us, awaiting a response to their probing questions, let’s look them in the eye and with love and respect tell them the truth. We will definitely thank ourselves for that in the long run. #lovebythedrop

Today’s Gem of Gratitude #166

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Today I am thankful for the truth, whether enjoyable or not. I have spent enough of my life trying to avoid the truth in situations where I was afraid that the truth might be something other than what I hoped for or desired. If a thought that popped into my head was something that I did not like, even though it was something that was true, I would push it from my mind. If I knew that there was a possibility that someone whom I cared for would answer a question that I wanted to ask them in a way that might disappoint me or cause me pain, I would oftentimes refrain from asking them that question even though the truth was what I needed to hear. And if someone gave me constructive criticism I would take it personally and allow it to negatively affect the way that I felt about myself, my capabilities, and my life.

I struggled with this for many years because I had low self esteem, lacked confidence (which you can read more about here) and was insecure. And the presence of those things, along with the self-imposed expectation to be perfect at everything and to do everything perfectly, fueled my desire to run from the truth when it was something other than what I considered to be positive.

I look back on those days and I realize how grateful I am that I am now at a point where my self esteem and confidence are at healthy levels, I am very much secure, and I no longer run from the truth. I may not always want to hear the truth, especially if it is not something that I would consider to be desirable, but I am mature enough that I no longer allow myself to fear it and to run from it, because I now respect, honor, and appreciate its importance and its value at all times, not just when the truth reflects something that I consider to be desirable.

And if you think about it, to be successful in life, no matter who we are, what we want to do, where we want to go, we need to be able to face the truth. Because if we do not face the truth we restrict our ability to grow, mature, and adapt, and, in essence, deny ourselves the opportunity to live. And that is something that I do not think that any of us truly want. #lovebythedrop