Musings of an Urbane Mind, Reflections

Finding Yourself When You Never Knew that You Were Lost

old things

Sometimes you just have to reach the point when you simply say, “I am done.” I am done living my life for other people – trying to make them happy, trying to be the person whom they want me to be, trying to be everything, to everyone, at every moment. In fact, if you are completely honest with yourself, you probably will say that you have spent so much of your time and effort focusing on what everyone else wants and expects as it concerns you, that you do not even recall when exactly you lost yourself, and in turn, lost your way.

We have all likely been there at some point – frayed, tattered, and worn like our old favorite pair of shoes left to rot in quiet, isolated darkness at the bottom of an antique trunk. We kept those shoes because they were our favorite pair, after all. And oh the memories that we created while wearing those trusty and faithful companions. Yet, as essential and integral to our existence as they once were, we somehow separated ourselves from them because they no longer suited a relevant purpose – they no longer caught the occasional eye, no longer provided much needed comfort in tandem with style, no longer beckoned our presence, but rather languished in the corner neglecting to move save for the occasional lurch to emit a labored sigh as if to remind you that they, like you, were still there.

Somewhere along the way, just as we ushered those shoes to the side, we did the same thing to ourselves, the only difference is that we foolishly thought that nothing had changed, when it fact everything had. This, my dears is what has been festering in my heart as of late – the reality that somewhere, in time, in space, I made the decision to lay myself down and inadvertently forgot to pick myself back up. Is it too late? No, not for me, and I would venture to say that the same is probably true for most people who incidentally leave themselves by the wayside.

Thankfully, I am in the process of picking myself back up again. And where I will go from here, I cannot really say – that is a journey bearing a destination that is yet unknown. However, I will continue, to be, to engage, to strive, to move forward, all the while finding my way back to life. #lovebythedrop

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