Gems of Insight, Reflections

Today’s Gem of Insight #70

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Today’s insight journey led me to the idea that it’s important that we do not lead on those with whom we do not truly want to be. Many of us are very engaging individuals who enjoy getting to know and spending time with people. We enjoy the way that we feel when we have positive encounters with others and we take pleasure from establishing emotional connections with people. And there is nothing wrong with that.

However, we must be careful and ensure that we do not conduct our lives and interactions in such as way as to cause someone else to receive the impression that we want more from the situation than we really do. Now, certainly we cannot control the perspectives that others have; that is simply beyond the scope of that for which we could realistically be held responsible. Yet, we can control the things that we say and do, something that is entirely within the realm of our responsibilities.

For example, let’s say that you know someone in whom you may or may not be interested, and you know that you either are not interested in being in a serious relationship (with that person, or maybe even with anyone) or you are simply not ready to be in a serious relationship with that person (or anyone for that matter), then do not behave in such a way that will give that person the impression that you are interested in being in that serious relationship with them and that you are ready to be in that serious relationship with them. Or, let’s say that you know that for some reason you are not in a position to start that business with your friend, you no longer have any interest in buying that house with your spouse, or you really do not have the requisite time available to be the coach of your daughter’s basketball team, then make your position clear to those who need to be made aware of it and then move on from there. Do not lead them on.

Leading people on is not only wrong and disrespectful, but it completely goes against the idea of fostering authentic relationships. And as we have come to know, if we lack authentic relationships the life that we live will never be as good as it was intended to be. And since we are only blessed with one life, we might as well go ahead and do what we need to do to handle things the right way now rather than wait until later and then with tears in our eyes scramble to try to pick up the pieces.

And let’s face it, being led on hurts. And my guess is that when we really and honestly take time to think about it, leading people on does not feel all that great either. So, let’s avoid leading people on all together and instead spend that effort on enjoying the wonderful relationships that result from our investment of love care. #lovebythedrop

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