Today I happen to be sitting here for a few solitary moments enjoying some peace and quiet after a busy, yet productive day. I had no intention to write anything today, yet the more that I sit here the more that I feel like I need to write.
This all came about because somehow I began scrolling through some of my old posts from when I first began this blog in June of 2013, and I came across a post that I wrote about heartbreak as a part of the 365 Days of Thanks Project that I was doing.
That post dealt more so with heartbreak of the amorous persuasion, but then it dawned on me that I am currently experiencing heartbreak as it concerns the loss of a friend.
You see, someone whom I had come to care about greatly, had developed a pretty close relationship with, and spent a lot of time with over the last 8 months just disappeared from my life, out of the blue. No warning. No negative interactions. No indicators of any kind that any type of disappearance was on the horizon. Just there one day and gone the next.
Now, at first I wondered if I had done something wrong and just hadn’t realized it. Nope, there wasn’t anything that I could think of at all. Then I wondered if maybe my friend was in trouble or dealing with a challenging situation. I’m not sure about that, though, because of the lack of contact. Then it dawned on me that this friend of mine was probably someone who was only meant to be in my life for a season.
You see, I had been praying for this person, even before the disappearance occurred, and then also after the disappearance took place, asking that God’s will be accomplished, that He would bless her and her family, and that He would help me to accept whatever His will was. And when it dawned on me that this friend of mine was probably one of those seasonal gems that surface in life but for a little while, it was pretty clear to me that God was answering my prayers and providing me with the insight that I needed.
Did my heart still break? Yes, because that person is my friend and one of the very few people whom I have truly opened up to and shared private aspects of myself with in quite a while. Yet, my heart did not remain stagnant at that moment of unexpected breaking. My heart, dear ones, is very much on the mend. How so, you might be asking? Because I gave it all to God, the whole friendship and everything associated with it, before the heartbreak even occurred.
Did I handle everything perfectly? Of course not. But the evidence of growth is there. I put it all in God’s hands, and because I did that I don’t feel like I’m the one tasked with fixing the situation and me. That is for God to do. And in the process of His mending me and my heart, He is preparing me for the future – the love and friendship that is to come, ensuring that I grow through this situation, rather than be broken by it. Ensuring that when love and friendship arrive in the future, I won’t shy away from them or mistreat them because of past hurts. Instead I will embrace them and cherish them as the priceless gifts that they are. Be encouraged 🙂 #lovebythedrop